Relief that the happy Conor showed up for the visit, and the cranky Conor stayed away.
Glad that the bruises have largely faded (even the one on his forehead), and the scars from the last temper tantrum are mostly mine, and mostly emotional and hidden.
To be so close to almost-normalcy for a few hours, thanks to this brief interlude, makes me feel hopeful for Conor’s future. For our future. At least, until the next tantrum. Because there will be a next tantrum. I know this.
But until then, I am simply going to breathe a sigh of relief that Conor behaved calmly, and rationally, while my parents and my sister visited with him. That he interacted with his brother without anger and resentment, and that he agreed to chat with me a little on camera.
He’s even asked me to upload it on my Facebook page, and next Sunday, we’ll sit down at the computer together and watch it.
These are absolutely the moments you need to record - to help you remember the real Connor that you love and makes you laugh. This is what you need to watch when he is having his "grand-mal" tantrums. Play it over and over and over again. Watch it over and over and over again with him. He will need reminding, too...
I've watched it ten times by now. Then I just sit and wonder... how IS it that he has such strengths and still, we struggle with behaviors. We talk and explain and talk and explain until we're blue in the face and, nothing.
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