Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Take That, You Snot-Nosed Kid

This week, I became THAT parent.  If you're a teacher, you'll know what I mean.

Conor is sick, and I've sent him to school every day.  That's right, I have sent my hacking, snotty, tired, soon-to-be teen to school.

It’s not because I don’t want to take care of him.  I do.  Honestly, he slept from the moment we dropped him off at school yesterday until the moment they called us to pick him up. Are you kidding, a whole morning of Conor just sleeping and laying around the house? Score some mom points AND get the filing done? I'm all over that.

No, you know why?  I've become a wimp.  A wuss.  A pansy.  Weak-kneed.  Spineless. Cowardly. A fraidy-cat. A weakling.

Despite his head cold (no fever=no flu), Conor insists on going to school.  In my heart, I know he should be home, on the couch with a box of tissues, a fleece blanket, and copious amounts of napping and TV watching.  I have no idea why he insists on going to school when he just sleeps there, but he is determined. Determined, I tell you.

“Conor,” I say gently, “don’t you want to stay home from school today?  You’re sick. You can watch Phineas and Ferb all day or listen to your music.”

No!” he wails insistently.  “Conor’s going to school today,” he says, smacking his open hand on his chest.

“How about going in late,” I cajole him.  “You can go in for lunch and art therapy, then come home.”

No!” he squeaks loudly.  “Conor’s going to school today! Conor’s not sick!”  Cough cough sniff cough. He lifts his hand for a high five. (I’m not high fiving him; I’ve seen what’s been wiped on the backs of those hands the past few days.)

I don't know if keeping him home would mean a tantrum, or just a day of endless whining.  Either way, I'm not up for that. See what I mean?  Spineless.

If I were stronger, an actual vertebrate, I would insist that he stay home and just deal with whatever he would throw at me--books, pencils, lamps, tantrums. Bring it on.

Listen, I would say. You will stay home from school, lay on that couch, watch TV, drink juice, take a nap and BE SICK at home, goddammit. Or ELSE!

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