Saturday, May 26, 2012

Just Lie To Me

Ok ladies-of-a-certain-age. (You know who you are.)

If you're out and about and just minding your own business, you might see a cute 13 year-old boy who looks as Irish as Paddy's pig. Maybe he's on a walk with his dad, maybe he's visiting your neighbor, maybe he's just touring around the mall with his 1:1 aid.  Whatever, you run into him.

Here, this is what he looks like, so you know.

And if this blue-eyed, freckled-face young teenager with the little button nose asks you, articulately and without prompting (or even with prompting, for St. Patrick's sake)--

How old are you?

Please answer the question.

Stop scolding him that "you don't ask a lady her age, young man!" Please don't refuse to answer him because of your own vanity.

This is your chance, maybe your one-and-only chance, 
to be 29 again. And it costs you nothing.  

Just lie to him. A small fib.  Just tell him what he wants to hear.  He doesn't want to judge you. He doesn't care if you're eligible for Medicare.  He doesn't care if you're 42 years-young.  He doesn't care.  I don't care.  His 1:1 doesn't care.  Your neighbor sure as hell doesn't care.

So go ahead, shave ten years off your last birthday.  He's not going to ask for your birth certificate or to look at your drivers license.  He's not the age police.  (Although, quite frankly, if you give too low a number, he might just call you on it.  Don't go crazy or anything is all I'm saying.)

All he wants to do is ask you a simple question, and get a simple answer in return.  I know it's a plain, almost comic, attempt at being social.

But help a guy out here.

For God's sake, just lie to him!

After all, I'm sure you've lied about your age to your doorman, your daughter's new boyfriend, your florist, the dog's groomer and the pet-sitter.  What's one more?


6 comments:

Jean said...

Couldn't you just scream at some people??
Your son is an absolute dote and I love your turn of phrase...as Irish as a Paddy's pig? heeheehee XXX

placesonthespectrum said...

Ha! My son likes to ask people their house number. He doesn't care what street you live on, just the number on your house. Once at a visit to the pediatrician (not our normal doctor) he asked her for her house number. She replied, "Oh, I don't give that information out to patients." I wanted to scream, "Lady, just make something up!" But I was polite. I enjoy reading your blog.

AlisaRock said...

I don't get some people, I really don't. Sigh.

Um, what's a "dote", Jean? LOL, I really have no idea.

Thanks for commenting!

Jean said...

@ Alisa hahaha
a dote is a gorgeous child XXX

Krista Ennis said...

My kid also asks everyone how old they are, and stores that info in that mind forever. I gave my sister-in-law the best birthday gift on her recent 50th, told him that she is 29. She loved it.

AlisaRock said...

That's just awesome Krista.