Sunday, August 07, 2011

Top Ten List

I’m tired of all the depressing news.  (I’ll be happy if I never hear the words “debt ceiling” again.) So in the spirit of David Letterman (is he even still on the air? Alive, even? Monogamous?), here are 10 positive things about having a child with autism.

10.“My son has autism” gets you a pass in public most times, even though you know that your typical kid acts that stupid too.

9. You know who your friends are.

8. You don’t take babysitters for granted.  You can handle my kid? Here’s an extra twenty to make sure you come back.

7. We get to pre-board airplanes. Trust me, it’s better for everyone involved. (Unless, of course, you’re stuck on the tarmac for two hours.  Then, pass the Bloody Mary.  On second thought, make that two.)

6. I don’t worry when it comes to lying about my age.  Conor’s happy to tell everyone exactly how old I am and when my next birthday is scheduled.

5. I always have someone willing to go to Target with me.

4. I have a ready excuse for not participating in boring school events for my typical kid.  No, I’m sorry, I can’t come to the popcorn and movie/ice cream social/bake sale/PTA meeting/art exhibit/math carnival/peeps show thingy tomorrow.  Conor-duty, you know.

3. My 12 year old with autism still snuggles with us and holds our hand.  Our typically developing nine year old, not so much. (According to Aidan, kissing me is torture. I’m sure, many nights, my husband would agree with him.)

2. When your kid only eats five foods, you don’t really have to worry about what to feed him for dinner.  Sweet potato, spaghetti sauce, rice, French fries and butter… the five food groups. Check out the food list...

1. You can fart in front of him and he won't blink an eye.  You don’t even have to blame it on the dog! But be forewarned... if it's an SBD, he'll ask, "What's that smell?” which can be bad for you if you're in public.


Mary Beth Collins said...'re fabulous!

Alisa Rock said...

Right back atcha, Mary Beth.