Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Call Me!

I'm sitting by the phone, waiting for a guy to call. I haven't done this since I met my husband.

I keep asking myself, why doesn't he call?  We had such a great time.  We laughed, shared stories. It felt so comfortable, like we had a connection. We have so much in common. Experiences with kids with special needs.  He enjoys reading, too. We even vacationed at the same beach in Rhode Island, but at separate times.  Crazy world, isn't it?

I thought he'd call by now.  I mean, we emailed back and forth a couple of times, but I figured he'd want to talk things over again in person.  Go over dates, and times, and... well... expectations.  Not that I was going to ask for a long-term commitment.  Oh no, I've learned not to ask about THAT at the beginning of a relationship.

No, just take it day by day, week by week.  Get a feel for each other, see if things are going to work out.  Look, I'm not looking for a commitment either.  I don't even care if he sees other people.

I mean, I knew when I made him the offer that he already had another full time job. I'm willing to share him.  All I want to say, I guess, is... give us a try.  Be Conor's in-home aid for a few months.  Don't let our past record of therapists and aids coming and going stand again me; it wasn't my fault.  (At least, that's what I tell myself, late at night.) They were young; I'm a stress case, I know that about myself.  Maybe I was too clingy.  I hover, I can't help it.

I just wish he would be honest with me.  So I can know whether to start looking again, searching for Mr. or Ms. Right, if only for Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 3pm - 6pm and maybe even a paid beach vacation?

It's not me, right?  I'm not a loser that nobody wants to work for, right?

Call me, ok?

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