Friday, June 01, 2012

The Birds and The Bees, A Chicken and An Egg

"I think we're in trouble, Alisa," Paisley said as I walked into the kitchen yesterday. She and Conor had just finished mixing up a cake for his Cook-Something-Fun! activity on his schedule.

"Why?" I asked, a little puzzled.  Everything looked ok.

"Conor's been asking why there wasn't a chicken in the egg," she replied, smiling. "I explained to him about the yolk and the shell blah blah blah, but I didn't want to get too far into it."

Oh dear infant 8lb 6oz baby infant Jesus who don't know a word, please save me. I am not ready to have The Sex Talk with Conor. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I am aware that he knows women can have babies in the bellies, he tells me all the time.

"Mommy's finished having babies in her belly!" he tells me often enough. Damn right, Conor, I reply. I'll high-five that one. "Women gots babies in their bellies. Men don't gots babies in their bellies," he continues.  High-five.

But that's about it. I think.

He does know that chickens lay eggs since his former tutor raises chickens in her backyard now and he likes to pick out some eggs and put a hen on his shoulder.

Hey look, there's a chicken on your shoulder!

Easily, I envision how The Sex Talk will go with my typical kid; he's 10 now and I'm just waiting for the right time. But Conor? What do I say? How do I say it? Does he even know women don't have penises? Where do I start? 

Relationships in general are practically impossible for him with his lack of social skills.  How can I possibly explain the most complicated sort of relationship? I mean, I feel like I'd have to explain more than just the simple mechanics.  Or maybe not.  Maybe that's enough. Whatever, I don't know.

I mean, I can't even think how I would write that social story. 

Well, Conor, when a rooster and a hen love each other...

Luckily for me, I did some searching on the Internet (gotta love the Net) and I found this social story here.

They have a Facebook page!  (Not that I would know, other than
some brief research I did for this blog post.)

Here you go, Conor.  Take it, read it, and if you have any questions, let me know.  'Kay?


Jean said...

(the echo you hear is my footsteps in the distance).

Alisa Rock said...

I know, totally. I had to explain sex to my typical kid today. He looked like he was going to vomit.